HONESTLY…IS SELF-CARE JUST A SCAM?
If I had a euro for every time someone told me to just relax, have a drink to release stress, or go get a massage, I’d be rich enough to actually afford all the overpriced self-care products we’re bombarded with.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for taking care of yourself. But somewhere along the way, self-care went from take a nap to spend 550 euros on a wellness retreat where you can sip matcha and journal about gratitude. It’s hard not to wonder: Is self-care just a scam, or are we doing it wrong?
For me personally self-care is extremely important. Since I don’t have the financial means to indulge in all the things that would make me feel at least a little bit better, I learned a few cost efficient ways to calm the f… down. One of those things is just being with myself, taking a slow morning, watching a cringy movie or reality TV, do my nails, or enjoy a good salsa dip and nachos. It seems silly but it really does work for me, and honestly, I feel like self-care never really meant that you have to go buy a bunch of stuff to get an expensive dopamine hit.
Once upon a time, it was about listening to your body, slowing down, and giving yourself what you needed to function—whether that was sleep, a walk in nature, or a moment of quiet. But these days, self-care has been hijacked by the wellness industry, and let’s just say it’s not cheap.
We’re sold 50 euro candles, 150 euro skincare serums, and monthly subscriptions to meditation apps because we’re told these things will bring us inner peace. It’s genius marketing, really: prey on people’s insecurities, convince them they’re not doing enough, and offer them a product to fix it even if they’re gonna go broke. Somewhere along the line, self-care stopped being about taking care of yourself and started being about taking care of your credit card limit.
Here’s the thing: self-care isn’t supposed to be another chore. But that’s what it’s turned into for so many of us. We’re exhausted, overwhelmed, and scrolling through Instagram, watching influencers show off their “self-care days” with perfectly curated spa setups & 200 step skincare routines. Meanwhile, the rest of us are wondering why our chaotic, half-hearted attempts at self-care don’t look anything like that.
Take me, for example. I once tried a five-step (it sounds little, but really isn’t) skincare routine because I thought it would nourish my soul, and make me look I just came out of the womb. Spoiler alert: it didn’t. All it did was give me acne from products I didn’t need and a nightly dread of spending 30 minutes layering creams and serums. Self-care shouldn’t feel like homework, but the way it’s sold to us often does.
Let me tell you what self-care looks like when it’s real. It’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s not Instagrammable, and it’s definitely not always pretty. Sometimes, self-care is taking a nap because your body is screaming for rest. Sometimes, it’s saying no to plans because you’re drained. And sometimes, it’s putting the hair removal cream above your lip, getting deeply invested in the new episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and getting a rash above your lip (true story).
For me, self-care also found its home in Pilates. I started during the first lockdown because, honestly, I thought I was losing my mind. I hated working out. I hated the pain that came with it. But I was desperate, so I gave it a shot. After my first session, I was hooked. Almost five years later, Pilates has become more than a workout; it’s a way of life. It taught me to love my body for what it can do, not how it looks. It taught me how to breathe—like, actually breathe. And most importantly, it taught me how to show up for myself, even when life feels impossible.
Self-care shouldn’t be about keeping up with trends or products. It should be about what works for you. Of course not everyone can afford to go twice a week to a Pilates class, but you can also do it at home, trust me. The key is finding what fills your cup—not someone else’s.
So, why do we keep falling for the “self-care” trap? Because we’re human. We’re imperfect beings living in a culture that tells us to hustle harder, do better, and be the best. We’re constantly racing—with others, with ourselves, with the clock. And when the pressure becomes too much, we’re desperate for an escape. The self-care industry knows this and preys on it. But honestly: no amount of lavender-scented candles will fix the chaos of our lives if we don’t address what’s really driving it.
We need to accept that not everyone is destined for greatness, and that’s okay. Most of us are just trying to get through the day, and there’s no shame in that. The goal of self-care shouldn’t be to transform you into a perfect version of yourself; it should be to remind you that you’re enough, even when you’re messy, tired, and imperfect.
The Honest Truth
Self-care isn’t a scam, but the way it’s sold to us often is. True self-care isn’t about spending more money or achieving some idealized version of wellness. It’s about giving yourself permission to care for yourself in the way that works for you. And that doesn’t cost a thing.
So, here’s my honest challenge to you: What’s one thing you can do for yourself today that doesn’t cost a dime? Whatever it is, start there.
